Ya know, I seriously hate the fact that being overweight is viewed as the ultimate pitfall in today’s society. Some automatically assume that if you are fat, you are lazy, dirty, unattractive, etc…I could go on really. In reality though, we are not those things, at least I’m not. I shower at least 2 times a day (can’t stand being remotely dirty!), I’m not lazy! Just ask my love, I drive him bat crap crazy with my OCDness of our home. Most days you’ll find me cleaning something! lol I am for damn sure not ugly! In fact, I’m pretty darn hot, fluffy, but hot! I have great eyes, great lips, a great smile, again, I could go on! lol I wanted to write this blog to give the world my point of view from my experiences as a plus sizer living in a teeny world.
Recently, Lover and I decided to make our life official, we are having a wedding! YAY!!! In my experiences so far, while looking for a wedding dress, I find that bridal salons are vicious! Let me tell you! I got looked at like “Really, YOU actually found someone to have sex with you, let alone marry you???!!!” all the while their eyes are bugging out of their head! I’ve also gotten to experience the fact that most bridal sample dresses do not come in a plus size at all! Most of the dresses are standard size 6! I might be able to fit that around my thigh! ha! However, some stores claim to have plus size samples, thus giving me hope, NOPE! Their sample plus size is a 16! Seriously! Um no, if you are a plus sizer, trust me, you are no size 16….Seriously BRIDAL WORLD, get with the program! My fat ass needs a dress! ** edited to add, I may have found a place (out of state of course) that caterers to the fat ass bride! Will post more after I get more details!**
I often find it insulting when I have to go into a store period these days, whether it be clothing, grocery, what have you…You get the STARES! Why? Really why? I’m not staring at you or the fact that you have the balls to walk out of the house in those short ass booty shorts and a extremely low cut v-neck shirt while pairing it with your fuzzy UGG boots! No, not judging you at all. Just sayin, keep your thoughts, eyeballs, and opinions to yourself. I have the right to buy clothing (would rather see me naked?), to buy food (even though you may think I need to skip a few meals, trust me I do not over eat.)…If you really knew me and took the time to know me, you would know that I have struggled with my weight since I was 9 years old. You would know that it is a genetic issue for me. You would know that I seriously can not eat more than the recommended portions because I have a 2 oz stomach from having the non adjustable gastric banding surgery at the age of 17, which is now slowly making my life miserable and possibly killing me. You really don’t know these things. I love fruits and veggies, would eat a salad any day over a super sonic cheeseburger and onion rings from Sonic…I love water, drink that more than anything else. You just don’t know.
I really first discovered that I was “different” and not in a good way, when I was 7 years old. We lived in an apartment complex with many other kids that I went to school with. No one ever mentioned to me that I was fat. I had really nice friends. Until this one particular fall weekend day…Us kids, all woke up at the butt crack of dawn to start our adventures, would all hang out on the tennis courts. There were four side by side courts which made this pretty big. No one in the complex played tennis so it became our territory. We would ride our bikes, roller skate, play dodge ball, tag, etc…This day was no different than the many times before that I had gone to the courts with my friends to play. Today, there was a new douchebag kid. I can’t remember his name, but I do remember what he looked like. This kid was easily the spawn of Satan. No lie! We were all playing dodge ball. All of a sudden I was his constant target. He kept chasing me and trying to literally hurt me with the ball. As I ran away, I heard “Damn y’all look! She has thunder thighs! Look how her thighs rub together!” which followed with him imitating my thighs. I was shocked and hurt all in one swift blow! I gathered my things and went home crying. I was completely devestated. My heart was broken. How could someone be so mean? Come to find out, his mom was the same amount of fluffy. She was no skinny woman, that’s for sure. I wondered if he was this mean to his own mother? You would think he would know better, have the common sense, something in that evil brain to not be so ugly! Thinking about that time, I really feel sorry for the woman who was stupid enough to end up with him. I would like to think he has changed, but I doubt it. From that day on, I struggled more with my weight, through high school, where I took drastic and not recommended measures and had weight loss surgery. (Please be advised that I do NOT recommend this surgery. However, only you and your physician can decide your care plan.
I wanted to write this so that others like me, could and hopefully would find the courage to know and show just because you are overweight, doesn’t make you less sexy, a dirtball, a lazy person, none of that! I want more places to become aware that we exist and not just in a negative light. You don’t know if we are trying so hard to diet and each salad we eat, we end up gaining 2 extra pounds instead of losing it. You do not know our struggles, our trials, our aching. Some of us are lucky we have awesome friends who rock out with us, others do not. I hope that someone out there finds my rantings and humor a positive way to look at life, even as a fat ass girl.
Just so you know, these two photos are me, in my fat ass glory…See I’m not ugly! Just extra cuddly! 🙂
KD-Resident Fat Ass Girl
- Confessions Of A Chubby Chaser: 4 Reasons Why I Go For Bigger Guys (thegloss.com)
- Best of P-Mag: Fat Sex: What Everyone Wants to Know but is Afraid to Ask (persephonemagazine.com)